Hi-Kix

BACKGROUND

Kix was leader of a motorcycle girl gang when she was 14, where after lunch they used to rock up to bars, chug beers and kick ass. All those bar fights paid off as by 16 she was world kick boxing champion. When Kix wasn’t on a 48 hour party bender she’d be robbing banks, that was until she met the Kandyman.

SPECIALITY?

I like taking down gangsters, warlords and drug dealers – “basically anyone who calls themselves Mr Big.  Apart from Mr Big my newsagent who’s a very lovely man.”

FIGHT TALLY

499 knockouts and 1 draw – “That was with The Body after she borrowed my hairdryer without asking. We kissed and made up afterwards. She’s a very good kisser.”

FAVOURITE FIGHTING OUTFIT?

Agent Hi-Kix is very particular about what she wears – “Well, I do actually like going undercover as a schoolgirl – wearing a little miniskirt and tight fitting shirt but I can’t imagine anyone finding that remotely attractive so I’ll say heavy mechanics overalls?”

TRAINING

Female World Kickboxing Champion 2003 – “Need I say more?”

FAVOURITE FIGHT?

November, 2007 Prague – “I once beat 3 guys up whilst reading the newspaper – it was a great article about the Swiss Chemist Albert Hoffman.”

FAVOURITE TACTIC?

Strutting seductively around my prey, making them feel weak with anticipation, casting aspersions about their masculinity and then taking them down – “I also like hitting bad men with metal pipes but apparently we’re not allowed to do that any more, some United Nations Health and Safety derivate. Bloody Bureaucrats.”


FAVOURITE MOVE?

High kicking of course – “If I’m not using this move for kicking idiot henchmen’s’ heads in, I use it to reach things on high shelves.”

PERSON YOU’D MOST LIKE TO GIVE A GOOD KICKING TO?

Ronaldo or Robert Mugabe – “it’s a close call.”

LITTLE KNOWN FACTS

Not a lot of people know this but Agent Hi-Kix has just returned from capturing Serbian war criminal Radovan Karadzic.  Having completed the MI6 course in Beard Spotting, she wasn’t fooled by the former President of the Serbian Republic of Bosnia-Herzegovina’s bouffant chin disguise – “ I don’t know what you mean, I was in Ibiza partying with the girls that day!”

VITAL STATISTICS

5’5, size 5 boot and extremely hot.

GALLERY